Married to my Pen

Samples of my books and poetry.

Do you know what that means?

Why in Twilight, every damn book does Bella have to seem so helpless…like is love really everything. Is it really worth the tears…and their is a lot of tears. True love cries, I mean not just one–but like hundreds. If you don’t cry–becuase you lost it–or hurt while your in it than how do you distiguish the real love from fake love. Sometimes i think peopel take things for granted…I already talked about how they did in friends ships…but with love they do. Maybe i should take a blog or two to define the two different kinds of loves I had in my life. One love was die hard…meaning i fell so hard that i was in a hole so deep, I’m not sure i got out of it, i just know that i learned how to live in it. While another, was simple in it’s own ways, I loved him, he had a girlfriend, he broke up with his girl…i dated him..and just like that i was over that three year of loving him. Loved him better when he had a girlfriend!! Funny, but life lesson thing. Die hard love was rough…i mean he hurt me so bad, that i wish i would have just like…moved far away or went to love rehab. Do they have that!?! I can kind of relate to Bella…it’s hard to let someone go that you have already told your brain you would devote your whole life too…but then again..shiiit!!! You gotta do gotta pick yourself up and go back at there…because some really old person laying in their grave said “it’s worth it?”…and the question everyone asks is…is it? Is it really worth it…is having a broken heart worth it….well as i shed my final tears…still missing that something everyone seems to be able to find…except me…(well im exagrattin–spelling it wrong too–) i shouldn’t say their final..because they creep on me sometimes…when i least expect it. Just like people…you thought you could have fallen for..a little more than you should have…and then when you finally fall asleep you get this sense of relief…because maybe it was meant to be there. You get hurt, so when you finally don’t it means that more…. and you stick with it. So I’m going to stick with it…..or let it find me..and stick to me.

heres the song i wrote…when i thought about him & her (theyre still together..and im still hurt by it…i HATe VANESSAs…she broke the previous first rule!! Knowing damn well my ex was defintely off any list of people my friends can date without my knowlede..but one day. I’ll be ok with that…riiight.. FUCKEN BITCH…maybe not)

Listen to Broken-Hearted Girl by Beyonce.

Title: Do You Know What That Means?

So you think I’m crazy
For askin what her name is,
You think I’m insane
Because I’m full of insecurity
Well listen to me heart
While it still flutters around you
Will you let that slip away?
Will you let doubt grab you?

Oh pull too close
I’m letting go
You hope that my eyes will dry with time,
But you’re more than phase,
Baby you amaze me, and you wanna go
I can’t let her take you, away

I open my heat,
I take your name,
Won’t you douse me,
Drench your pain I’m willing to stay
I love you, do you know what means?

So she’s more than a girl more
than someone who captured the moment
More than a friend, but less than me
You’re trying to change
Say life will go on without you
IS that true?
Will there be a me without you?!
I can’t imagine, I couldn’t wish
Baby you locked me, with the first kiss,
And she’s worth it,
So you’re willing to leave Oh NO

Pulling away,
Letting it go
I hate her name, and I won’t leave without you
You’re the love I need for life,
Baby you’re everything and you’re going to leave me
I can’t let you go, I won’t let you go.
I’ll do anything, oh please.

I open my heart
I take your name
Won’t you douse me?
Drench in your pain, I’m willing to stay,
I love you; do you know what that means?

Do you know what that means?

Push Push Push, like a lion to his cub.
You took took took, more than you thought you could hold
With love at stake, don’t look away I’m here, I wont let go.
She might kiss you with her tender lips,
But I will love you with a mighty force,
See these arms they hug,
She these eyes they weep,
Just like a new day I will restore your faith.
I will not command, I will not transcend.
This is not a fairytale, but baby I will win.
Can’t you feel my heart?
It only beats like this,
When life completes it,
And I’m completely taken in.
I love you, and no one can love the same.

I open my heart
I take your name
Won’t you douse me?
Drench in your pain, I’m willing to stay,
I love you; do you know what that means?


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